5 Reasons Why
You Shouldn’t Live in the
Hamptons
1. People don’t wear hats.
Interestingly enough, in the
Hamptons instead of wear a hat on your head people instead just buy them to
keep them on a shelf. “It’s unlucky to wear a hat for the first time,” says
professional athlete Dante Halleyville. So instead of wearing them he keeps
them locked up in a cabinet in his room to never be worn. Why waste the money
on a hat if you aren’t even going to wear it? That is like going to Jeff Ruby’s
Steak House, ordering a 60 dollar steak, and then not eating it! A hat is meant
to be worn to keep the sun out of your face. Dante’s grandmother even backs him
up on it, when Kate, Dante’s attorney, asks Marie Scott is Dante ever wore the
hats…MULTIPLE…outside, “’Never!’ says Scott so loudly that the whole courtroom
feels the fury in it,” (Patterson 252). Pshh, sounds ridiculous.
2. There is no such thing as backyard
basketball.
Growing up in a suburban area
there is usually a group of kids that hangout, play some hopscotch, ride bikes,
do lemonade stands, and maybe play a little pickup basketball. But no, not in
the Hamptons. If you try to have a little competition you will end up being
held at gun point. No smack talk is allowed, no rough housing, because you
might be seen as a threat. Might as well not go to get coffee in the morning
because of you order the same thing as the person in front of you, uh oh, you
better watch out that might whip out a PNG and accuse you of copying them. The
Hamptons is just not a family friendly environment.
3. Citizens of the Hamptons are more likely
to become a drug addict.
Anywhere you go you are going to
find a group of people that are invested in to the drug world. It’s inevitable.
But it seems as if in The Hampton everywhere you sure there is a drug dealer,
or someone that knows a drug dealer, or someone that buys drug from a drug
dealer. Multiple people are murdered in this novel because of drugs. Those that
live in the Hamptons typically have a lot of money. Usually too much money that
they don’t know what to do with it so they begin to experiment with drugs. The
police, especially Officer Hugo Lindgren, will let you get away with just about
everything if you give them what they want.
4. The jobs of those in the Hamptons are
not valued.
Of course with the economy these
days, jobs are tight. You have to perform at your best in order to maintain or
obtain a job. It can get pretty competitive. But in the Hamptons, they will
toss you overboard as soon as you don’t do one thing the way they want you to
do it. For instance: Kate Costello an attorney at Walmark, Reid, and Blundell,
one of New York’s most honored white-shoe law firms was asked to represent a
man named Randall Kane. Now, Randall Kane was a very rich man that gave this
law firm a lot of money. When Kate refuses to represent him because of the
horrible rape crimes he committed her boss, Mr. Reid fired her right on the
spot. Who would blame Kate for not wanting to represent a ruthless sexual
predator? Those that live in the Hamptons are obsessed with money and will once
again do anything to get it.
5. You will die.
There were 4 murders, 3 gun
fights, and 2 bar crawls all in a matter of 2 weeks at the Hamptons. The amount
of risk in the Hamptons is equivalent to downtown Detroit at 2 a.m. on a Friday
night. Who would think that the Hamptons (picture on the right) would have
anything to do with murder? Truth is, a man who was guilty almost go put away
for life for committing the murders because a police officer in the Hamptons
was paid off by a main drug dealer to set Dante Haleyville. Bottom line is,
just because the Hamptons is a rich, beautiful part of the country, the
Hamptons really isn’t the safest place to live.
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